The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word Bridezilla as follows: A woman whose behavior in planning the details of her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.
Now, it wouldn’t be fair of me to take another step before I get a little something off my chest. A teeny confession, if you will. Don’t judge me, OK? You see, I used to have mild bridezilla tendencies. It might explain how I found ‘Bride Without a Groom’ so easy to write. Phew, I feel so much better now that I’ve admitted it! The truth is that ninety nine percent of the female population, at one point or another, has fantasized about what their perfect wedding might look like. And yes, I just completely made up that statistic. Sue me.
You see, for most of us growing up, we dreamed about being a glorious bride one day. It might be because of the brain washing Disney movies we watched over and over, featuring various princesses being rescued by princes whilst singing catchy songs. Or it could have been those bedtime fairy tales, with the happy ever after endings, usually involving wedding bells.
So, in order to complete my admission, I have to fess up to you about the following:
a) At the tender age of seven, I dressed my Barbie dolls in various white lacy frocks, complete with tiara, and staged my very own dolly wedding, complete with handsome Ken and smiling relatives adorning the aisles. Now, here’s where it gets a little unusual. You see, the Barbie games all involved dramatic, wacky story lines. For example, brunette Cindy often made a scene at the wedding, storming up the aisle, and saying that Barbie had stolen her one true love. Catfights ensued. Often, Barbie bossed the shabbily dressed dolls about, demanding that they add more sequins to her wedding frock that very minute, and pouf her hair just as she likes it. Barbie then went on to have an affair with hunky-six-pack-blond-Malibu-beach Ken after marrying sensible brown-corduroy-trouser Ken. Malibu Ken had the red Ferrari and the pony stables, so go figure. Besides, sensible Ken just didn’t understand her. And Cindy was only jealous of her long flowing hair and flawless curves. With careful self-analysis, I have come to the conclusion that I may have been subjected to an alarming amount of daytime TV dramas such as Dallas and Eastenders. It could explain a lot.
b) During my childhood, I climbed on my bed to reach the white net curtains, placed them over my head, bridal style. In my innocent mind, I was only gorgeous, and had an uncanny resemblance to Maria from The Sound of Music.
c) On a loop, I sang ‘One Day My Prince Will Come’ until my sister told me to stick a cork in it, and threw a pillow at my head.
d) In my teens, I attended a family wedding, closed my eyes, and imagined that it was in fact me, and not the real bride, swishing down the aisle in something dazzling.
e) In my twenties, I accidentally on purpose guided my boyfriend in the direction of the jeweler’s window, and pointed at the sparklers, hinting heavily. I then graduated to driving him absolutely potty by constantly asking him to propose to me. He did, eventually. Thankfully, he has yet to divorce me, as I am still driving him mad.
f) During the eighteen months of my engagement, I talked incessantly about wedding dresses, and what kind of bikini I should pack in my honeymoon suitcase.
g) I’m in my thirties now, and am sad that I’ll never get to be a bride again. Friends of mine feel the same way. We have been known to have a night in, order a Chinese, drink cocktails, climb up to the attic and try on the our wedding dress. This is to relive the glory days, and prove that the dress still fits. We then pout in various poses, take selfies, and text these pictures to our husbands. Sadly, I’m not making this bit up.
But, sure, everyone woman does these things… don’t they?!
I’m feeling a bit silly now, so I’ll just add, in my defense, that I never crossed over into full blown Bridezilla territory. Rebecca, on the other hand, goes a step too far in ‘Bride Without A Groom’, by booking a priest, wedding dress and honeymoon before she has been proposed to! Sure, it’s no wonder that long suffering Barry has had quite enough. Who could blame him?
So, ladies, I ask you… is there a bridezilla in you? Even just a teeny bit?
Bride Without a Groom is Amy's debut novel, and was launched in May 2015 by Harper Collins UK. the kindle is priced at £1.49 and the paperback is available in selected Tesco, Asda and WH Smith across the UK. Amy lives in Wicklow, Ireland with her husband, two young children and two rescue dogs Bella and Roly, and works part-time for a children's charity.
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