He sent the recording through to me last week and I listened in amazement. It's like hearing a song you know well on the radio and singing along, except I'd never heard it before I just knew all the words. I still can't believe that he transformed the words on a page of my old note book into an actual song. The music and production of the track is fantastic and hearing about all the work that goes into not just recording but producing it is incredible. I have a new appreciation for the music industry!
Two days later our writing class was considering the influence of music and images on writing, as a result our tutor decided it would be a good opportunity to share our song with the rest of the group. Since starting this class I thought reading my stories aloud was the scariest thing imaginable, turns out I was wrong. Hearing your song lyrics vibrating the room as everyone listens attentively is utterly terrifying and, thankfully for the sake of everyone's ears, I wasn't even singing.
I spent the entire 4 minutes while it played, examining every wall, poster and inch of grubby grey carpet, attempting to avoid eye contact with everyone, fearful of the utter scorn and boredom that I was sure I would find etched on their faces. Now of course, I wish I'd analysed the people instead of the furniture. Was a foot tapping? A head bobbing? Did anyone mouth along with the chorus? Or were they all desperately shoving their fingers in their ears?
Whilst it was playing fear meant I didn't want to know the answers to any of these questions, but as soon as it finished and the room was engulfed in applause, instead of feeling relieved I suddenly wanted to know if it was real. Whilst I want people to love what we have created as much as I do, I don't want false praise and empty compliments. I want constructive criticism and genuine emotion. The problem is, how do I know if that's what I got?
Sure I could assume they all loved it and chase after my dream with my head held high, but not if it means I'm going to charge straight off the edge of the cliff that I didn't see coming, because I let myself get caught up in the excitement and overlooked reality. Reaching for the stars is a great aspiration, but I'd rather be doing it with solid ground beneath my feet.
Anyway, here's the link to our song 'This House', do let me know what you think...