Elaina James

This has been the view from my kitchen window ever since storm Doris uprooted a tree. Yes, I know that was over a month ago. Yes, I know that was too long to neglect the tree lying across my lawn. Have you noted the title of this blog series? Reluctant is putting it mildly when it comes to my gardening abilities. I will do almost anything to avoid even the simplest of task such as mowing the lawn, so when it comes to anything that involves actually getting my hands dirty and digging, my ability to procrastinate is truly impressive. Although, I have had a good excuse recently – did you see my post about my two jobs? See, I have been busy. Very busy. Far too busy to venture out into my garden with a spade… To be fair I’d known for a while that the tree was a little wobbly and needed to be replanted much deeper, but it’s one of those things I hadn’t quite got around to. After all, it was still standing. It may have swayed frantically even in the slightest of breezes, but it was fin...

Big, but not overly so, my handbag is just the right size to carry my notebooks so I will never be without them.  Its dark black exterior with single beige stripe give no indication of what lies within. To the rest of the world it looks like a smart business woman’s handbag. Who else but I would know its main purpose is to carry my dreams? However, it doesn’t end there. In addition to my dreams my handbag carries pretty much everything you can think of, and probably a few unexpected items too. I always carry at least one extra pen. I have my own portable first aid kit from paracetamol to plasters. I’m prepared for any kind of weather with a pair of sunglasses stashed beside an umbrella. A tape measure. Spare plastic bags. Tissues. A pair of pliers. A torch. My handbag is a girl guide’s delight. Ironically I wasn’t a very good girl guide. At least not according to our troop leader. Nevertheless, I returned each week decked out in my neatly ironed uniform, the traditio...

As 2015 draws to a close it seems only fitting to update you on my gardening progress. Towards the end of October I mowed the lawn and put the mower away, satisfied that I wouldn’t be needing it again until the spring.  Then I spent the next few weeks uncharacteristically cursing the mild weather and literally watching the grass grow. Before I grudgingly got the mower back out of its winter hibernation though one of the neighbours offered to cut the lawn for me. I don’t think he was quite anticipating the eagerness with which his offer was accepted. So I settled back and admired the short lawn which seemed so much better for not having had to do it myself, plus it lacked the wonky lines which always emerge despite my best efforts to walk in a straight line. I delighted in the blissful knowledge that now it definitely wouldn’t need cutting again before the spring. That was it.  My role as the temporary gardener filling in for my Dad had been completed for the...

So on Saturday Dad announced that his lawn didn't look very good. I decided not to take this as an insult on my gardening skills, or lack thereof. Though to be honest I wouldn't blame him if it was. However he did clarify by explaining that it was the weeds and moss that he found offensive, rather than the uneven cut and persistent long edges. His solution was that it required special lawn care stuff sprinkling all over it. Okay so those weren't his actual words, but bear with me I'm still a novice. Now his two lawns aren't particularly big, but they aren't tiny either. At least they don't seem it when I'm mowing them. I think the same magic that makes time go faster at weekend’s works on lawns too. Only instead of time going faster the more fun you're having, the lawn grows larger with every shove of the mower. Of course it could just be that I'm overlapping with my wonky lines. Anyway, I digress. My point is that I didn't particularly fanc...

In this age of modern, independent women, I am what my friends affectionately (I hope) refer to as a girly girl. Whilst I've surrendered my childhood preference (ok obsession) for all things pink (pink dresses, flip flops, hair ribbons, wall paper and carpet... Need I go on?) I still have a tendency for girlish squeals. Just place me in the vague vicinity of a bee, wasp or spider and you'll see what I mean. However, as a result of my Dads recent stay(s) in hospital, I'm now basking in the sunshine of the great outdoors. Which loosely translated means I have temporarily taken on the role of looking after his garden. So not so much basking, more trapsing up and down pushing a lawn mower, which I swear was lighter in the shop, in what I aim to be straight lines, but are actually more just a chaotic assortment of randomness. Corners present a particular problem when it comes to attempting to turn said heavy mower. Did I also mention it's really long? Which mean...

This weekend we decided to clean out Dad’s greenhouse.  For a self-confessed neat freak / non gardener like me, the question that springs to mind is why would anyone want to make a structure out of glass?  Seriously, it’s just gonna show the dirt! Okay, so I do actually get the purpose of a greenhouse.  I might not appreciate it when I have to clean it, but I do get it. We started by emptying all the plant pots, bags of compost, weed killer and grass seed that attempt to hide in this see-through storage room.  Actually no, I lie.  We started by finding me a pair of gloves to wear, after I picked up the first plant pot and discovered all the spiders, woodlice and slugs that were attached to it.  Ugh. Once the contents of his somewhat cluttered greenhouse was spread across the lawn, I started hosing down the inside of the greenhouse, while Dad rummaged through the collection of plant pots on the lawn to decide what he actually needed.  I’m s...

As it's a slightly early finish at the office on a Friday, my plan was to head on home and mow the lawns.  I know how to live it up on a Friday night don't I? However, when one of my colleagues informed me that the weather forecasters are predicting a monsoon on Thursday, I figured that I might want to move it up my schedule.  Soggy lawns tend not to be much fun to mow. So Wednesday night I unraveled the worlds longest extension cable, I dutifully located and tested the RCD adaptor and then began my ritualistic 'Dance of the lawnmower'. While my neighbours can manage to stroll up and down their lawns with ease as their cable stays obediently behind them, I twist, turn, shove and tug my way around the garden.  All the while battling an unruly cable which is always too taut, too loose, or often somehow wrapped around me (don't ask!). Nevertheless the end result is a short lawn.  Albeit with somewhat wonky lines and long edges. More relieved that it was over ...