Monday, 21 September 2015

The Reluctant Gardener

In this age of modern, independent women, I am what my friends affectionately (I hope) refer to as a girly girl. Whilst I've surrendered my childhood preference (ok obsession) for all things pink (pink dresses, flip flops, hair ribbons, wall paper and carpet... Need I go on?) I still have a tendency for girlish squeals. Just place me in the vague vicinity of a bee, wasp or spider and you'll see what I mean.
However, as a result of my Dads recent stay(s) in hospital, I'm now basking in the sunshine of the great outdoors. Which loosely translated means I have temporarily taken on the role of looking after his garden.
So not so much basking, more trapsing up and down pushing a lawn mower, which I swear was lighter in the shop, in what I aim to be straight lines, but are actually more just a chaotic assortment of randomness.
Corners present a particular problem when it comes to attempting to turn said heavy mower. Did I also mention it's really long? Which means if I do muster the strength to turn it 360 degrees, I usually at this point find myself standing in the bushes, which for a girl who doesn't like spiders, is not a good place to be.
I feel however that I may have stumbled into a profitable new venture. No not a new career in landscape gardening, but I do think I could sell tickets to my neighbours for the entertaining show that they get witness every two weeks. After all it's got everything:
  • Intrigue and suspense - will she master a straight line this week?
  • Drama - when's she going to notice the spider in her hair?
  • And even dancing... Sort of. It's a whole new wasp dance, it could rely catch on, though it's not to be mistaken for the bee dance. That would just be insulting.
What would I do with all that extra income I hear you ask?
Simple, hire a gardener while I hide indoors.

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